What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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