Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(561): View more from Florida

She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy

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(713): View more from Texas

He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.

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(713): View more from Texas

This dude is being a total douche

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps

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(248): View more from Michigan

he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.

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(678): View more from Georgia

When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?

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(217): View more from Illinois

i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home

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(937): View more from Ohio

That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.

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(719): View more from Colorado

OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil

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