My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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