I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
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