He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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