Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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