sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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