belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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