Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize