her vagina looked like bernie madoff
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Randomize
