I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
