i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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