those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
