My room smells like vodka and shame
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
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