Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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