i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize