I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
