she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
