I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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