in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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