Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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