OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
