Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Come back. Shots need mouths.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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