Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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