i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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