We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
