Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
