How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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