So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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