I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
