If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
