just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Randomize
