I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I need to sanitize my soul.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
