She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
