So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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