Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
