the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
