So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
