small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
