Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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