oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
