The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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