We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
he was CRYING into my vagina
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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