Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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