We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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