Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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