your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
