New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
