morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
