it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
